The self-sabotage that comes with arrogance.

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

I know people who, without a smirk or a twinkle in their eye, have told me that their arrogance was a positive quality*; I have coached people, who although did not openly admit it, portrayed every quality that comes with the word. I will stress that am not talking about those people who have a healthy confidence in their abilities, their potential or use personal drive as a measure of their success, but rather those people, that in an insulting way believe they are better, smarter, or more important than other people.

I was in a coaching and development conversation one time and asked, "Why are you sabotaging yourself?"

To that he replied, "What do you mean?"

I told him his arrogance and self-righteousness was palpable, particularly in meetings and there were considerations that came with it. I went on to point out why I saw it as self-sabotage:

• With so little experience and nothing truly proven, he was compromising his credibility; I went on to suggest there is a big difference between believing you can do something and actually doing it. I finally pointed out that "on paper" he was the same as everyone else on the team, and his position of being better had no "data" to back it up. (As they say, "In god we trust, everyone else bring data.")
• His unfounded arrogance impacted his ability to work with other members of the team and only with teamwork would he be effective in his current position. With his current behaviour of dismissing others, he was limiting his ability to learn essential skills involving teamwork, learning and "playing well" with others.
• The dynamic he was creating on the team with his behaviour was causing friction and making it difficult for the team to meet its objectives; this was impacting how management was looking at him.
• Looking at the world through the "rose coloured glasses of arrogance" would impact his ability to self reflect and understand development opportunities for his future success.
• Although he did have potential and would ultimately could be very effective, I pointed out that my experience was that at any given moment there is always someone smarter, more successful, more talented, richer, etc - Arrogance is a wasted and destructive endeavour.

It turned out to be a great conversation because in the end, as arrogant as he was... he was smarter.

gpe 

* In all the years I have been coaching, training or developing sales and marketing people, I have never seen "arrogance" defined as a competency; I will go out on a limb here and say arrogance is not a positive quality.

... leave this world better than when you found it.

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

I came across this quote the other day - 

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.

Wilferd A Peterson

I will tell you up front I am a romantic when it comes to motivational quotes; they teach, inspire and remind us that we are not alone in what we do... literally or figuratively.

Getting back to the words of Mr. Peterson, he offers a nice laundry list for finding success and offers two very valuable messages. 

The people you associate with will influence and shape you... don't underestimate the impact. 

"The dreamers, the believers, the courageous"... we are reminded of the qualities we should surround ourselves with as we look for our own success. Conversely though, we should remember the impact when "walking with" those who are of the ilk to embrace sloth, ignorance or corruption of character... generally speaking, success does not follow them, or at the very most, is "fleeting". Our social structure is one of our greatest teachers and our desire to fit in, to emulate and be accepted is so influential it will impact how you see the world, the inflection in your voice, and how you do what you do. Do not underestimate how you are influenced by the people you associate with.

Those who dream to reach for the stars will take us there and those who see it as a flight of fancy, will surely show us how to stay on the ground. Individuality and "free will" is ultimately yours, but make no mistake those people around you heavily influence who and what you are... so choose well. And remember, the universe demands balance; as much as you are being influenced, you are also an influencer.

So ask yourself, "Am I dreaming for the stars?" And with that, remember you are helping others do the same.

You have been given this cosmic opportunity to make a difference. 

Our "success" as a species has been an iterative process - Person after person, generation after generation all striving to make a difference; all building upon themselves over countless generations, culminating in our current every day occurrences ... exploring our solar system, real time global communication, manipulating the building blocks of life, or understanding why we should plant two trees for every one we cut down - A continually growing list of what we can accomplish.

In total, they say 108 Billion people have lived on the earth since we "got involved" about 50,000 years ago* and all of them, with intent or not, have influenced where we find ourselves today. There are of course always the historical notables, sometimes simply because of good PR but the fact of the matter is, whether we go down in the history books or not, we as individuals can make a very conscious, impactful difference.

And if you listen to Wilferd A Peterson, you can make a difference that in it's humblest way leaves the world better than when you found it. 

Find your passion and bring the world along! A good definition of leadership, don't you think?

gpe 

* apologies to the creationists.

Do you have "Millennials" as part of your network? You should...

Recently I caught up with some colleagues who are part of the very much talked about "Millennial" demographic; I consider them friends and part of my network so our range of topics were broad... everything from up coming proposals, to the trials and tribulations in the work place. As a late stage baby boomer, insight into their world is familiar enough, as I've been there and done that; but at the same time, they offer insight with regard to leadership, development and success in our ever-evolving world.

They say 80 Million plus "Millennials" are entering the work force in North America alone and represent the largest group to enter the work-force since the baby boomers; as a result of shear numbers, they are a force to be dealt with as you manage your business. A few points regarding the Millennials to ground us all and do remember this is from the perspective of a Non-Millennial - 

• The "Millennial" demographic is defined as anyone born after the early 1980's through to the late 1990's.
• Also known as the Y Generation.
• They tend to be well educated.
• Very technologically savvy.
• Like to operate in a team environment.
• Very sensitive to a work / life balance.
• Have aggressive expectations regarding careers, career development and career advancement (from and entry level position to Director in five years).
• Have a very high sense of self worth and ability... to the point of being perceived as arrogant and particularity self entitled.
• If not happy with a current situation they are very comfortable with making changes by "moving on to something else".
• The younger the "Millennial", the more profound these points are.

As a leader or a manager of "Millennials" I suspect you are nodding your head and saying to yourself, "Yes, that it about right. Look at what I have to deal with"... where I suspect if you are a "Millennial", you are saying something along these lines, " Yup that sounds about right... deal with it" - (Be Honest). 

More and more leaders and people managers are struggling to manage a growing percentage of this demographic on their teams, as well as a growing number of employees struggle with the working environment they find themselves in - There is a growing frustration with leadership, people management, building stable teams, as well as creating a environment for sustainable success. And this situation is destined to become more and more real as new economies continue to emerge, organizations struggle to achieve the bottom line and the need to have extremely effective teams just to survive... let alone thrive.

As my Millennial friends offer me their thoughts, it became very clear that they found themselves struggling with a few core themes and by extension struggling with their business pursuits. I am not suggesting these are all the struggles going on with "Millennials", but I have heard before:

• Career and skill development, as well as the next steps in advancement.
• Leadership motivation and inspiration.

Some quick thoughts on what I heard around the table (with wine in hand I should add)...

As career development and skill development goes, let me offer a perspective that I know my "Millennial" friends and colleagues do not like to hear; it is a "truism" that can not be disregarded, no matter how much you want to believe it to the contrary - Skill development needed for career development and advancement takes time... 10,000 hours for mastery they say. Although becoming a little trite, it is a fair benchmark with knowing when you will be good at what you do. So if career discussions is being discussed in months, and not years, there is truly a disconnect with expectations. And this makes for a very nice segue into the next point...

Although "Millennials" are looking for candid conversations regarding skill development, opportunity, performance and career advancement, what they are truly looking for from their leaders is "inspiration and motivation". They will look for this as individuals, and for the team in the broader sense (remember, by nature, they are team oriented, so they will speak for the team as a way of speaking for themselves). If you are a people leader, particularly if "Millennials" are involved, you need to ensure inspiration and motivation is part of your Leadership DNA - This is a full stop requirement when you lead "Millennials"; not simply a nice to have.

One last comment when it comes to leadership... it is a not a "directional sport" where leadership is just from the top... remember there is an expectation for everyone to manage up, down and side ways. The leader sets the tone for this, but in the end it is a "participation sport".

I appreciate the insights of my "Millennial" friends and they make up a key component of my professional network... they offer me a much needed perspective when looking at the situations and problems of the day. I highly recommend you get them into your network.

In the same breath, I hope they are saying, "I am glad I have an 'old guy' as part of my network" (or something to this affect)... which sometimes may be hard, as it is not part of their DNA.

Something to be worked on for sure.

gpe