"GOOD THING YOU LOOKED... YOU COULD BE DEAD!"

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

I will admit I was shaking my head a little as I reached the curb; although to be honest the whole situation was nothing more than a fleeting moment in a busy day... that was until a driver pulling way from the pedestrian crosswalk and shouted, "GOOD THING YOU LOOKED... YOU COULD BE DEAD". 

I was struck a little by the lack of attention on the part of her driving, but this did get me to thinkin'.

I should mention that since I've been in the city I find myself walking everywhere, and to accommodate this activity, the city has very graciously set up pedestrian crosswalks; as you prepare to cross the road you push a big yellow button, then large amber lights begin to flash, all traffic comes to a swift and sudden halt, and you cross safely. An odd sense of power and control washes over you as you make your way to the other side.

On this day, the one that prompted the loud "drive by" commentary, I had pushed the yellow button, the amber lights started to flash and I noticed an approaching car wasn't going to stop (and as I suspected, didn't). I waited for it to pass and them proceeded to cross as the other cars waited patiently... I guess they weren't in as much of a hurry.

While I appreciate the fact that the driver recognized that not everyone obeys the crosswalk rules, I can't help but wonder why the driver would think I didn't have to look before I crossed the road. Maybe the loud "drive by" commentary was an act of frustration with all the bad drivers in the city, or a frustration with people who can't obey the rules, or maybe she just wanted to participate in the urban discussion.

I can't help shake the belief that's not it.

As far back as I can remember, I was always told to "look both ways before you cross the road"; not just me but everyone I knew... it was one of those golden rules of parenting, and in my house there was no way your independence would ever be achieved if this didn't become autonomic. Maybe deep down, I'm just a little offended on behalf of my parents that someone didn't think I was raised properly.

Admittedly, there is some truth to this, but that's not it either. 

I keep coming back to this feeling that the driver believed the flashing lights replaced my need to "look both ways before I cross the road"... a system and process had been put in place that would get me safely across the road with no worries. I will say that more than once I've seen people push the button, put their head down and walk into the crossing; if I had done this, the driver would have been right and I would be lying on the road.

For me, this is about a growing deference to ownership, and the belief it's someone else's responsibility.

Ya, that's it.

Maybe I am over reacting here... but then again, I COULD BE DEAD.

iamgpe.

What's in a picture? Well for one... it seems a black suit should be!

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

I found this email in my inbox from a good friend a couple of days ago,

"Meant to share this earlier, and apologies in advance if I already have. For those relying on online profile photos for job hunt, client hunt, etc hunt - the website www.photofeeler.com provides a free tool for the evaluation of your mug. Just submit your profile photo, evaluate a handful of other submissions, and receive your unbiased feedback. Don't like the feedback - change the photo. Give it a try."

So I did.

As I got into PhotoFeeler I found that a "quick evaluation" was available for free, but like so many things of this ilk, you can use cold hard cash to upgrade and get more feedback. The categories for photo evaluation are Business, Social and Dating and each category has three characteristics that people rate you on; for example, with the Business category people rate your picture on "Competency", Likability, and "Influence".

I have a standard business photograph that I use on my website and various social media sites including beBee. It made sense to start with this, and this was the feedback:

Not bad... really high in the areas of "Competence" and "Influence" and just the right level of "Likability"; what I mean by this is if you are too likable people will think you can't make the tough decisions. That's true isn't it?

Since I'm a curious fellow and do like my data, I couldn't help but try out the other two categories. I started with the Social category; with that I determined I needed a new photograph because Social is different than Business - Isn't it?

Well this isn't exactly what I expected. I'm good with the confidence, but what's with "Authentic" and "Fun" being less than 60%?

I think I'm pretty true to myself, and after a martini or two I'm a bunch of fun... this is disappointing!

As the saying goes, "In for a penny, in for a pound", so it's a new photograph and onto the "Dating" category; after setting some parameters regarding age and orientation, I submit and waited patiently.

"WTF!"

So it seems a shiny penny is brighter than I am, that you probably can't trust me as far as you can throw me, and as looks go, it has been suggested that I've been beaten quite liberally with an ugly stick.

There had to be something wrong!

Something just had to be done. This had to be fixed!

I knew what I would do! The black suit to the rescue.

Now, that response is much better!

I can live with 86 % attractive... after all, I am no Brad Pitt.

But now what?

Well, after burning up twenty minutes of my life that I will never get back, I suppose it may be worth looking at what I've learned from my efforts... 

1. This was fun. Yes, I have added more pictures onto the web that people with "facial recognition software" can exploit but hey, that's the way of the world and we have to learn to live with it.
2. 10 votes is probably not statistically relevant so all of this data is suspect. PhotoFeeler offers the ability to gather more data, so depending on your goals and how you want to use your image, it may be very helpful.
3. With consideration to point number two, there is some indication that having a black suit may offer some advantages for presenting a positive image. With this said, it may also suggest that wearing sunglasses offers up a negative one ... my guess is people want to see your eyes.
4. Data is just data... you can't say it's good when you like it and bad when you don't. The question to ask is, "What are you going to do with the data to help meet your goals?"
5. Like it or not, people will judge you.
6. People will make interpretations based on your photograph, so choose wisely regarding the image you want to portrait.

In all of these photographs I am the same person (with all the same strengths and weaknesses of the human condition), and because of this twenty minute exercise I ultimately asked myself the simple question, "Am I pleased with who I am?" And although I am still a work in progress, the answer was "Yes".

In the end, using the appropriate photograph is just an exercise in good "Marketing". 

iamgpe

PS: I have no association with PhotoFeeler whatsoever. 

Five good friends and Mary Margaret Edwards.

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

Behind the curtain and under the harsh fluorescent lighting I heard my mother had had a heart attack; a clot had also formed in her heart, went to her brain, and caused a stroke, and for good measure fluid was building up in her lungs and she had slight pneumonia. We all agreed Mary Margaret Edwards was having a very bad day. 

We held whispered conversations in dull tones as medicine was translated into layman terms, the situation clarified for understanding, and philosophies bigger than ourselves discussed; all the while hoping (and praying) Mary Margaret Edwards could not hear the conspiracy that was unfolding. 

The late summer night air was unusually hot and heavy, and as we quietly walked to the car, we were left with our thoughts and the culpability of the decision to offer no further intervention, and let nature take its course.

Mary Margaret Edwards
(March 2, 1933 - September 13, 2016)

Mary Margaret Edwards passed peacefully September 13, 2016. 

Stoically, Mary took life on the chin, and true to her character, has asked not to be a bother or inconvenience anyone. Her only request was the reading of the 23rd Psalm. 

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. 
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: 
He leadeth me beside the still waters. 
He restoreth my soul: 
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; 
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. 
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; 
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, 
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever. 

Mary will be cremated and there will be a private family ceremony. 

Mary Margaret Edwards now dwells in the house of the Lord forever, along with her daughter: Angels both. 

Death is a surprisingly administrative enterprise as you work through a person's last will and testament, consolidate things, distribute memories, remove a person's name from the ledgers of everyday life, and leave a marker behind to battle with the passage of time.

Shortly after Mary Margaret's death an invitation came my way to join friends at a cottage and take advantage of the last breath of summer; at this time of year, the air is cool, the sunshine is warm, and surprisingly, the water is warm enough for a mid day swim. I immediately said yes.

Five good friends were able to make it; two of them I have known since grade school. As we greeted each other with hands extended, one of my oldest friends hugged us all instead. It was a recognition and reminder that our friendships deserved more than just a simple handshake... at least this was how I interpreted this simple act as I hugged him back with the greatest of appreciation.

There was some talk of Mary Margaret Edwards but much of the weekend consisted of sharing the current events in our lives, laughter, the odd swim, prideful stories of our children, and the memories that come with a lifetime of friendship. It was a very good weekend by all measures and ended with hugs all around as we went our separate ways.

Mary Margaret Edwards will rest in peace and our friendships will continue.

Life goes on, as it should.

iamgpe