"No... I'm good... I've got it... I can take it from here."

I suppose I simply want to pose this question... "Considering you didn't know how to do it in the first place and needed help, why would you believe you know what to do next?" The question isn't to anyone in particular — although I suspect you may have asked or been asked this question in one form or another. (Or at the very least, thought it of asking it).

I don't mean for this to be a harsh question or suggest that professional or personal development doesn't have you step into the unknown sometimes with nothing more than the sheer will to succeed. Maybe I'm simply struggling to understanding why a person(s) who didn't recognize there was a problem in the first place, didn't know how to develop a plan (and by extension the activities to implement the plan), would believe that all of a sudden they had the ability to deal with what comes next. 

Is it an issue of self-awareness, simple pride, or the old adage "you don't know what you don't know"? Being it's a human condition I suspect it's something rather complicated. What I do know is that even under the best circumstances it's difficult to get things done, and that's before you add in considerations like capability, competency and council. 

Capability, competency and council... important considerations to reflect on — particularly "self reflection".

• Do you have the capability to do what needs to be done? It is very difficult to understand and admit what you can and cannot do (or be). Sadly not everyone can be a rock-star, a CEO, or a rocket scientist — although remember, there are all kinds of other fulfilling things that you will be capable of doing.
• Do you have the competencies (or skills) you need? Do you know what your skills are, and have you aligned them with what needs to be accomplished? Do you know what you still have to get better at?
• Do you have a council (or network) in place that can help you with the above, as well as make your thinking and actions better (let alone right)?

I can't help but come back to self-awareness... self-awareness of your own capability, self-awareness of what you're good at (and what you need to get better at), and the self-awareness that you don't know everything and you need people's help.

I very much include myself in all of this.

iamgpe

As a reminder — your agenda isn't necessarily everyone else's...

The world of late has reminded me of a "coachable moment" I offered up a lifetime ago... or at least it feels like a lifetime ago.

He stuck his head into my office with concern written all over his face; with all decorum set aside, he needed me to look at an email he just sent and wanted my feedback asap — he had a deliverable that was due.

Putting aside my own deliverable, I took advantage of this coachable moment and simply said, "You know, your poor planning and your urgent agenda is not my agenda". I then went on to offer a perspective on planning, time management and my thoughts on how to engage support. I told him I would read his email as soon as I could but he'd have to be patient. I then politely kicked him out of my office because I had a deadline (plus something else on my to-do list).

This "coachable moment" covers many areas as I alluded to, but recent events have me focusing on patience and the truism — "your agenda isn't necessarily everyone else's". The patience to wait is something evaporating by the minute with this app rich world but the truism is alive and well (maybe more than ever). Even when agendas do align, there are always the influencers that are Murphy's best friends (timing, a bigger boss, mother-nature, and the randomness of the universe) — the chances of you waiting are much greater than you not waiting.

There is a need to become comfortable with being patient, and more importantly, ensure you are being productively patient.

In other words, use this waiting time to be productive with other things (particularly something new). Of course you will use some of this time to influence what you are waiting for but in most cases that doesn't take more than a half hour — so do others things. Yes you are waiting for the "phone to ring", but you are also investigating a new business venture, taking a course, writing a blog, or networking to build your opportunity funnel. Being productively patient will have you increasing the number of agendas that you have on the go and developing out the number of things you need to be patient with. Because the more things you have on the go, the greater the chance the phone will ring.

Murphy will probably have them all ring at the same time.

iamgpe

Changing the narrative...

A recent event has had me reflecting and wondering if it all could have played out any differently — alas, I think I simply had no choice but to change the narrative, and I suppose I had to do it in a dramatic way.

Have you ever come around the corner to find yourself faced with "mischief" that suddenly increases your immediate possibilities exponentially? That literally happened to me as I rounded the bend with my pizza dinner in hand. This particular "mischief"  came in the form of three people, who moments before I passed them, had thrown something at a passing taxi. The taunts for pizza soon followed, and shortly after that the stomping of feet as if they were chasing me — an annoying but harmless narrative.

That was until one of them ran up behind me and jumped in front of me screaming. I then added my own narrative — and punched him in the head.

It was more of a symbolic punch because I had two work-bags over my shoulder and a pizza in one hand. Looking shocked he then screamed, "You hit me". After an exchange of bad punches and the death of my pizza, a Samaritan arrived and deescalated the situation. After some shouting I headed home with the proposition of having to make dinner.

I can still hear one of them saying, "We were just trying to scare him".

I will admit this post is somewhat cathartic but there is another important consideration aside from describing a very poor street fight.  As pointed out, their narrative was to cause "mischief" and "scare" people, and that narrative was only going to change if something happened that did not align (or feed) their story (and shift the paradigm). The narrative shifted from hassling a guy with a pizza to dealing with a poor street fight (and how to get out of it). The Samaritan offered that opportunity (with little resistance), and gave us a new narrative to continue the day.

All of this became a reminder that there are times that if you want to change a narrative, you really have to change the narrative... and sometimes pizzas do get hurt.

iamgpe

PS — I'm not advocating violence, but it's never a good idea to attack someone from behind.