I know you said you were doing GREAT — but were you really?

It probably doesn’t really matter about the circumstances that find me training for a big gravel bike race in a month, but suffice to say, I have been on the trails training.

As I was riding the other day I came across two riders — one was almost at a dead stop waiting for the second rider who was out of the saddle pushing his bike. As I approached, I offered some words of encouragement, “You can do it”

As I rode by the response was, “I’m doing great”.

The thing about being in the saddle for a while is you have lots of time to reflect — and reflect I did because my first reaction was no you aren’t.

Maybe he was in fact doing great because his goal was simply to get the bike out of the garage or he had the unusual goal of pushing his bike instead of riding it. For me success was defined by riding the bike but in this situation, the measurement for success could be different. There is an academic discussion to be made about alignment of goals and objectives to ensure measurement of success is properly reflected. In this case, with the context being on a bike trail where people ride bikes, I think to say you are doing great when you are pushing your bike is inaccurate.

Does any of this matter in the scheme of things? Not really, but again I rode for quite a while and had time to think.

Maybe it was an issue with language and how we interpret what is said — language has meaning and like all things, it evolves. It’s possible I missed the memo that says doing great on the trail now means pushing your bike. Like aligning goals and objectives, I think it’s important to align language so everyone’s understanding is the same.

It may also just be the result of being human; we are an overly optimistic bunch after all. We are always overestimating our abilities and how we stack up against each other, as well as the world at large. Sadly, we overestimate our abilities relative to reality, and if we don’t like the results, we adopt the illusion of changing reality with words or artificial action. The hard reality is no matter how much you want to change the standard deviation curve you simply can’t have the whole class in the 95th percentile — not unless you want to pretend.

It probably was simply a misinterpretation of the situation because we all get off the bike once in a while and have to push — although anytime it’s happened to me, it’s never because I’m doing great.

iamgpe

Wanna know how you are doing?

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here

"OMG! It's going to hell in a hand basket, it's over... it's done! I will save you the trouble and throw myself under the bus... a complete failure!" Dramatic maybe, but have you ever taken this kind of perspective with something?  Wait before you answer...

You then look to another point of view, and although somewhat similar to yours, it tends to be different; more often than not doesn't involve a bus, you are on the right track, you are better off than you thought, and there's just more work ahead of you (granted, maybe a lot more).

If ever there was a truism, it is this - People will look at "situations" differently... and with that said, never assume the way you look at the situation is correct. "Situations" in this context can be anything... a problem, an opportunity, a team's performance, an individual (you)... name it. If you want to understand, improve, harness or deal with a situation effectively, you need to see it for what it is - To do this effectively, you need different points of view to get a true picture; increase your chances for success. It is at the heart of all effective planning and execution.

And there it is, the answer to "wanting to know how you are doing?" - Get other people's point of view regarding you and your situation... the more objective and tangible the point of view, the better. Expanding on this a little, here are some thoughts:

• If you have a strong sense of worth (ego) and a strong need to be "right", you have to "check this at the door". It will impede your ability to listen, let alone understand another point of view. If you find yourself getting defensive or outright dismissive, that is a sure sign you have work to do.
• Remember the question "how you are doing" has to be relative to something... ensure what that is has been clearly defined and there is context to the question.
• Getting a point of view from someone that thinks like you isn't very helpful and is just an elaborate exercise in self-validation. You need a point of view from someone with different ways of thinking, life perspective, credibility and experience.
• You need more than just one different point of view, which allows you to develop themes and ultimately a clearer picture of the situation. This creates a valid perspective of how you are doing.
• Depending on the situation, this can be an emotional question; we are human after all. Knowing this, think of "a point of view" as a constructive, intellectual exercise that helps develop clarity and understanding. If you are being asked for your point of view, do it with respect and appreciation that it can be a "big deal".
• If you are a people leader, you should be offering your constructive point of view before the question even gets asked.
• It never hurts to get mentors and set up an informal advisory council.

Ultimately, we are trying to scratch at the reality of a situation so we can develop the appropriate understanding and a plan of action moving forward. There is no doubt that different points of view will help you understand a situation clearer. But I would suggest there is something even more important, and that is, "asking the question in the first place".

With that, "How am I doing?"

gpe 

Tools and re-tooling... one big analogy!

Heads up... this will be one big fat analogy for understanding situations and problem solving. Recently I was reminded that when you don't use the correct tool(s), the job is so much more difficult; for that mater, sometimes impossible. I had to remove an "allen bolt" from a piece of machinery, and it was on so very tight, I could not loosen it.

If you are not familiar with an allen bolt, it is a bolt with a hexagon socket in the head and you use an "allen key" to loosen and/or tighten the bolt. As bolts go, it is a good one, and it's usually straight forward to get on and off (see picture). My allen key couldn't get it off; when I used a drill with a hexagon bit attached, I still couldn't turn the bolt... it would not budge and I had a BIG problem! I needed to get it off. 

Something you should know about getting bolts off, it is all about torque, which is to say the force of twisting; it explains why a drill wouldn't work, as it is built for speed, and although I thought I had an allen key, it was more of a bicycle tool. As a result of not recognizing that torque was required to loosen the bolt, I defined the problem based on the tools I decided to use - I used my perspective of the tools I had available to define the problem to be a very tight allen bolt... not that the real problem was that I did not enough available torque.

Eventually realizing I needed the right tool that would provide sufficient torque, I bought a true allen key (the long version); sure enough, the bolt came right off - The bolt was never too tight. 

As I look back at my trials and tribulations with the allen bolt...

• I tried to align the situation to the tools I had at hand, instead of aligning the tools to the situation; this was compounded because although I understood needing torque, I dismissed it and focused on the tools.
• I spend almost no time on the situation to really understand it, and develop a plan... I simple grabbed my tools and "went to work".
• I became so entrenched with my line of thinking, it wasn't until I looked for advice that I was able to mentally "step back" and reassess what tools I was using to address the situation.
• There was a part of me, deep down, that knew I should be working with a real allen wrench but didn't want to spend the time getting one, or even spending the money. In the end I had to buy one, and I calculate it ultimately took me 5 times longer. 
• The tools I had were just fine, just inappropriately being used. It was not the fault of the tool that it could not remove the allen bolt.
• The ultimate solution was to re-tool. I now have a fine set of allen keys that I can use another time.

There you have it... a story, lessons and reminders all from removing an allen bolt. 

It could have easily been a story about a new competitor, a major customer changing how they do business, a product launch to a new market segment, or applying for a new position.

Analogies are just so much fun, don't you think?

gpe