Reminders — your choices are all yours

happy or unhappy

kind or cruel

generous or selfish

Choices are rarely black or white but rather a spectrum of grey and rarely right or wrong because life and circumstance make everything just a little messy. Although, with enough time and like a scatter plot, your tendency will lean one way or the other and offer a reflection of who you are.

knowledgeable or ignorant

trustworthy or unreliable

honest or deceptive

Freewill is to blame (ask any philosopher). It gives us the ability to choose, set our own destiny and by extension, becomes a major contributor to our identity and place in the world. I am not suggesting this is the only factor that contributes to who you are or that all choices are equal, simple, or easy. In many cases choice is not binary and there are more than two choices available — although in many of the most important aspects of who we are (or want to be), it does lean one way or another and is easy to call out the choice you have made.

tenacious or complacent

accepting or intolerant

brave or complicit

Choice, and the results of your choice, brings consequence. It always strikes me funny when I hear someone say, “That’s not who I am” because of something they have done. Without fail, and sometimes out loud I say, “of course it is, it’s exactly who you are”.

responsible or careless

hardworking or lazy

humble or arrogant

It’s important to own your choices. One reason is because you don’t want to find yourself reflecting on your life and dwell on the regrets as a result of your choices. A second reason is simple accountability. It is imperative to take accountability for who you are and the consequences of your choices — it is the only way to ensure you are the person you want to be. If you don’t look in the mirror and self correct you, will find yourself looking back on your life with a list of grievances and reasons why it was someone else’s fault.

It was no accident the choices I offered were of character and not simply should I be a lawyer or a welder. As we come to the end of 2024 and as impossible as it sounds, in many respects it is worse than 2023, I keep wondering if we are simply choosing wrong. More and more, social media content stream AI generated content that reflect exaggerated, if not completely made up, content. How long until I can’t tell it is AI generated? It is obvious we are leaning into deceit in this regard, and I can’t help but wonder if maybe honesty will take us to a better place. I should point out that AI does not make character choices but its current masters do so we can only hope.

I believe more than ever we need to look in the mirror when it comes to our choices and the consequences. 2025 is just around the corner, and I think it’s fair to say we need to course correct a little.

iamgpe

Reminders — The Sands of Time

I received a text message the other day with an image attached — it showed the black silhouettes of an elderly man with a cane holding the hand of a child. In the middle of each silhouette was an hourglass; the man’s sands filled the bottom bowl whereas the child’s top bowl was full. Sands flowed through the narrow necks but from two very different perspectives.

There was a crudeness, simplicity, and intimacy to the monotone picture — the image was beautiful and its literal message very clear.

My quick reply, “I really like this. I find it comforting”.

We are figurative hour glasses and our lives, our experiences, and our body of work are represented by the sand as it moves from the top bowl to the bottom. As the final grains fall, our time here comes to an end.

I quickly added, “We still have lots of sand left”.

After this short exchange, I was struck that I used the word “comforting”. I then proceeded to spend what was probably more time than I should’ve to understand why I decided to use this particular word for what was obviously a message about mortality. With other things to do, and only so much time, I’ve come up with two reasons why I used the word.

The first reason is something very tribal — I’m part of a larger shared experience, and although sands may fall at different rates or hour glasses may be different sizes, we are all the same in terms of being born, living our lives, and ultimately dying. The second reason is the intimacy of connection between the older man and the boy as they hold hands; I envisioned a grandfather out for a walk with his grandson sharing stories and experiences to help the boy in life.

This is a reminder that what we do has value and there is an importance in sharing our experiences to help others on their journey (I believe many would also call this servant leadership) — our experiences matter, they add to the larger human experience and if shared, help those who follow in our footsteps. In a sense, our limited time offers the opportunity to become timeless.

Although I still have sand left, sadly it’s not as much as it used to be. I take comfort in knowing I’m part of something much bigger than myself and will continue to make my way with the sand I have left.

iamgpe

I know I will die. I am not afraid to die. I will work very hard not to die before my time, and I will enjoy the experience until I do.

Stepping out into your own backyard.

The wind was up, the morning sky was clear and the flags that dotted the shoreline moved dramatically with the wind as it came off the bay. The wind, which my daughter says makes me sound old when I talk about it, really doesn’t have much to do with anything except it was part of a wonderful opportunity to sit on a dock and catch up with an old friend.

We talked about what we were doing at the moment and about what we were reading — Einstein came up because it was one of the current reads. We shifted our conversation to current events and our shared thoughts, as well as thoughts on those who share thoughts. One of us, and I am not sure who, suggested people need to step out into their own backyard. It struck us as something so profound that we joked that it would make a great title for a book. The conversation eventually faded into what was a great cottage weekend.

The conversation had been wide ranging and I can’t put my finger on what triggered the fledgling book title and I’m still trying to comprehend its meaning. I know there is something to it but I’m not entirely sure what, so I asked my friend iamGPT what he/she/it had to say —

Me: How would you figuratively interpret this sentence, Stepping out into your own backyard?

ChatGPT: The phrase "stepping out into your own backyard" can be figuratively interpreted in several ways, depending on the context. Here are a few possible interpretations:

1. Exploring Familiar Ground:

• It can symbolize exploring familiar or personal territory, suggesting taking a closer look at what you already have or know. It encourages discovering or appreciating the resources, opportunities, or beauty that are already available to you.

2. Starting with Small, Manageable Steps:

• It can imply beginning with something small and manageable before taking on bigger challenges. Just as stepping into your backyard is a modest step compared to venturing far from home, it suggests starting close to home or within your comfort zone.

3. Personal Growth and Reflection:

• The phrase can signify a journey of personal growth and self-reflection. Your "backyard" symbolizes your personal life or inner self, and stepping out into it suggests taking time to reflect on and nurture your own growth and well-being.

4. Taking Initiative and Ownership:

• It can also mean taking initiative and ownership of your life and circumstances. Just as you have control over your backyard, it implies taking charge of your environment, decisions, and actions.

5. Finding Joy in Simplicity:

• Lastly, it can represent finding joy and contentment in simple, everyday experiences. Your backyard is a place of familiarity and comfort, and stepping out into it can suggest appreciating the simple pleasures and moments in life.

Each of these interpretations offers a different perspective on the figurative meaning of the phrase, emphasizing aspects like familiarity, personal growth, initiative, and simplicity.

iamGTP offered very uplifting set of interpretations I admit, but it still didn’t feel right — maybe it was the context of our discussions that doesn’t have me piling on the self-improvement and wellbeing bandwagon. As I reflect on what we were talking about I kept coming back to the word “accountability”.

The metaphor of stepping out into your own backyard came about because we recognized much of what is being said and done today seems to lack any accountability in terms of taking responsibility or being held accountable — there seems to be a growing trend to relinquish any responsibility or accountability in many things and let it fall elsewhere. Opinion supersedes facts, language is misleading and sensationalized and more often than not, is allowed; what is said and done today is forgotten tomorrow. An easy example is listening to the weather forecast and the storm of the century that never materializes — start scratching and most places be it governments, institutions or the person in the grocery line complaining (pick a topic) and you will see a growing lack of accountability.

The idea of stepping out into your own backyard was to suggest more people need to reflect on themselves and take accountability, and metaphorically speaking, create a nice back yard — a back yard that is well kept, inviting, includes a biodiversity that is healthy. A retreat for yourself and others.

I should mention that ownership is not the same as accountability. You can own a backyard, but unless you are accountable for it, it will become the final resting spot for rusty appliances and broken bicycles. And figuratively speaking, that is not a nice place to spend your time (for that matter, it isn’t even a great place in the literal sense).

That day with the wind, on the dock, involving a pithy little quip illustrated a realization of a growing lack of character that’s happening all around us. Take the Canadian Women’s Olympic Soccer team for instance. They got caught cheating as they tried to spy on the other teams using a drone — and they appealed the consequences when they got caught. Sure, it was the coaching staff based on what we know so far, but by the nature of the game you are a team, so everyone owns it. We are Canadian for fuck’s sake, what exactly is going on? Let’s take some accountability and ask ourselves who we want to be?

Let’s leave whether character really matters another day to discuss — there’s definitely a solid camp for “the end justifies the means” so it’s not as clear cut as some would think. For the record, I believe character is crucial for long term success and happiness with accountability being a big one in that regard. Call me old fashioned (something that comes with talking about the wind I suppose).

Please let me know if I am ever falling short.

iamgpe

PS: Thanks to Miketopia and iamGPT for helping me collect my thoughts.