Observations — Why?

I walk regularly; part of a larger regimen to keep the rusty hinge moving (figuratively speaking) — I could go on about some awful bike training but it would be just self-serving and slightly tragic, so I won’t. Regardless, I was walking the other day and a brief but thought-provoking exchange happened.

Shortly into my walk, a woman passing me motioned she had something to say. I stopped and smiled as she asked me if I would like to have a website address that reviews the major religions of the world and reviews great works such as the Bible and the Koran.

To that, I simply responded, “Why?” She looked at me, and with little thought, said she always asks people she meets on her walks. I smiled and said no.

Wishing her a great day I continued on my way.

I wondered why I said no? Ultimately, the reason turned out to be that I didn’t like the answer to my question. If she had said something along the lines of, “We put this website together because we have found that people, no matter their backgrounds, are more similar than we realize. With similar beliefs and truths, that in the end, show why people should be working together, rather than fighting each other“ I might have said, “Yes.” It definitely would have been a better answer than, “I ask people who I meet.”

A very long time ago I was told that Why is a very confrontational question — it’s the type of question that gets people’s hackles up. People don’t like to be asked why? It’s too direct; I was told you need to couch your search for reasons indirectly and smooth over any offence that comes with simply wanting to increase your critical understanding. (As an aside, read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for inspiring thoughts on critical understanding.)

So why would one little world be considered confrontational? I actually think it quickly exposes whether someone actually knows why they are doing whatever they are doing. It forces the need to articulate thoughts, explains rationale of action, and exposes critical thinking and understanding. It is a word to be embraced because it forces an answer, or in the case of the lovely woman I met on my walk, a non-answer.

And for those who want to say why is a bad question because the obvious answer is why-not or because — all I can say is you are not giving a serious question it’s due. And people will say no more than you would like.

iamgpe

The best question you can ask... ever.

“What question should I be asking but haven’t?”

There are instances where a culture of “don’t ask; don’t tell” exists or people who hold information back for the perception of control and power but in general, with no malicious intent, most people operate under the simple contract of “asked and answered” — you get what you ask for.

Critical understanding is a result of asking questions, and particularly those questions you don’t know to ask — eventually you exhaust the questions that come innately to you so it’s imperative to surround yourself with people who ask the questions you didn’t think of — or better yet ask them what you should be asking.

In the same vein, another very good question is” What am I missing?” Just make sure you aren’t just talking to yourself.

iamgpe

The words that have redefined me after my death...

It’s one of those books that is dense with information — not hard to comprehend but contains so much that every page has you thinking, has you marking up the margins and folding corners to the point that each page looks the same. I can see why it’s on every list of books that business leaders must read; I had seen it many times myself but only just picked it up a while back —I can’t help but wonder if this is one of those books that finds you. I was halfway into the book when I figuratively crashed into three sentences that had me re-reading the words, highlighting them with even more stars, and setting them to memory.

“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now take what is left and live it properly.”

As I look back on my life I feel no regret, and although many things could have been done differently, I have to say everything worked out quite nicely. I will miss myself but like everyone else I will move on — I still have things to do after all.

A couple of days after my timely death I shared my experience and the profound impact of the quote with a confidant. After much enthusiasm on my part, I ended the conversation with, “I’m not sure what live it properly means” — the words just hung there. It did force the realization that a comparison was needed between this new life and one before I died. If I wasn’t going to move forward doing things differently (or properly) why did I go through the hassle of being dead in the first place? A reasonable question in my mind and one I suspect the author intended when he wrote it.

It’s a bold endeavour to set down on paper how to live a life properly but with the time I have left I’m embracing the opportunity to do just that — this is what I have come up with:

Approach everything with a critical eye for understanding — Understanding determines action; the better you understand a situation the better your decisions will be. Good critical understanding forces different points of view, inclusion of different voices and different ways of thinking (The author discusses this a lot, and it’s one of the reasons many circles classify it as a business book).

Attempt to control only yourself — The only thing you have any control over is how you react to the world; believing you can control anything else is an illusion. Control yourself with courage and face everything that comes your way with integrity, determination and kindness. Leave everything else to the logic of the universe.

Simple is better than complex — For no other reason than simple is less exhausting, and unlike many things that are over engineered, simple doesn’t break down as much.

Strive to be extremely healthy — I’m talking physically health here (I believe the above with look after mind and soul). Exercise much more, sit much less, move much more, eat much less and wander into nature much more. This is how you “take what is left” and get the most out of it — for as long as possible.

Do what you enjoy — maybe worth re-evaluating once in a while.

I think this defines a life lived properly quite nicely and will be a big help as I make my way for the second time.

iamgpe

PS — Sure I could have mentioned the book and the author but as I say, I think this is a book that finds you. Plus there is always the internet.

PPS — Boop if you happen to read this, send me an address and a copy will find you.