"You got a lifetime". Humbly... what I have learned so far.

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"You got a lifetime. No more. No less".

Neil Gaiman* said this.

For me it carried profoundness in its simplicity, which I intuitively felt but could not quite articulate. It wasn't until the celebration of two birthdays, a first and a forty-first, that Neil's words finally became clear - Our lifetime; this grand adventure, is "finite". It wasn't an epiphany so much as it served as a wonderful reminder. Admittedly, I sometimes assume this adventure will all last forever, and take it for granted. 

As I smiled at myself for taking so long to catch on, I also reflected on what I have learned so far, and how this would serve me as I continued my adventures over the next forty years. I will tell you this comes from personal experiences, and humbly, this is what I have so far: 

• People will shape your life... today, tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow. You may know them intimately or only from afar, but they will teach and inspire; you will talk with them, hear about them or read their history. All of them influencing... good, bad or indifferent. Sometimes you will get it right, and sometimes not so much, but in the end every person will impact you; choose who you associate with carefully and decide if you want them influencing your life. And remember this is a two way street.
• You can do much in a lifetime, but sadly you cannot do it all. When you look at your life the question to ask yourself on a regular basis is, "Am I satisfied?" If the honest answer is "no", you must ask yourself why and fix it. It's not just about asking the question itself, but rather asking it on a regular basis... and I mean daily. Leaving this question for years or even decades will not only make it more difficult to fix, but may profoundly impact those people around you.
• You will get scared, and that is very human. When you are scared you need to recognize it, understand it, and not let it stop you. It is never as bad as you think it is, and you will get through it. Being scared is never a reason to not do it, particularly when it comes to satisfaction.
•  Comfort level is deeply personal, and is not relative to anyone else but you... one person's comfort is another's risk. I have discovered some of the most wonderful aspects of life are found outside what you define as your comfort level. If it scares you a little, it's probably a candidate for the to-do list. Celebrate bravery at any level!
• Do not take it for granted! It may last a lifetime, or gone in the blink of an eye... appreciate it when you have it, and cherish the memory when it is gone. You will be richer for it!

I'm satisfied with my list so far... but again, I still have a lifetime. No more. No less.

gpe

* Neil Gaiman is married to Amanda Palmer, and if you have read any of my earlier blogs, you know I'm in love with her. No disrespect to Neil intended.

Anger or reflection... which would you choose?

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In one of my more philosophical moments the other night I happened to mention that I remember hearing about an ancient oriental philosophy that says, "if a valuable glass breaks you should not be angry with it being broken, but instead reflect on all the times you enjoyed the glass before it broke"... or something to that effect. The discussion admittedly was around how hard that can be.

Afterwards, recalling the discussion and racking my brain as to where I had heard about my so-called oriental philosophy (and if it was in fact even real), I did what any inquisitive person would do... I turned to the Internet.

I was not able to validate my oriental philosophy of "reflecting on all the times you enjoyed the glass before it broke", but I did discover Kintsugi... something that as an art form is simply beautiful, and as a philosophy is simply marvellous.

Kintsugi is a Japanese philosophy and art that treats "breakage" as part of the history of an object and not something to be thrown away or disguised; it is illustrated by repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. * 

Getting back to the philosophical discussions of the other night, Kintsugi would have been a nice addition as some of the talk was about the scrapes, scars and breaks that are part of our journey; literally and figuratively. As I reflect more on recent discussions, as well as newly found philosophies, it all seems to be one big fat allegory for working through the trials and tribulations of life.

• Things in life break, both figuratively and literally... objects, situations, relationships and even people. Reflection offers a far more positive energy, whereas anger offers nothing but the negative form; intuitively and practically we all know anything positive is the way to go.
• When things break, they can be put back together. By definition, the very act of being repaired makes it different, but that doesn't mean it will to be any less beautiful.
• The scrapes, scars and breaks that come with our journey of life should be celebrated... they are part of who we are, and that is a beautiful thing. We all have stories to share and celebrate.
• Kintsugi in an allegorical sense, like being reflective is not easy but can be done, and must be a conscious choice; with patience, skill and desire, something wonderful can come from all those pieces.

So for me, I choose "reflection"... if for no other reason, just look what happens when you add some "discussion" and access to the Internet.

gpe

* Many thanks to the Internet and Wikipedia for helping me discover Kintsugi.

Work and Play... a case for play, the simpler the better!

The following is the original and the rewrite can be found by clicking here.

I want to make it clear upfront I am not talking about what we like to call "work - life balance"... an ever growing misnomer if ever there was one; what is supposed to balance off the 55 hour work week can be just as challenging - Life can sometimes be very hard. What I am talking about is work and play, and how energizing play can be.

Work (verb): be engaged in physical or mental activity in order to achieve a purpose or result, especially in one's job; do work

and

Play (verb): engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

I had the opportunity to spend a weekend with some friends at a cottage on a northern Ontario lake . Some will say there is no better way to send a summer weekend - An opportunity to get away from the summer heat, enjoy the water, breathe fresh air and catch up with old friends.

Inevitably, after catching up on everyone's current state of affairs and settling onto the dock, someone says, "So what do you want to do now?" Ideas were bantered about, all very adult and expected... then someone noticed something lying up on the shore.

Inventive branding called it the "Floater Mat", but it was simply a very larger piece of foam that could float on the water, easily able to support the weight of a person or two (and as it turned out, three). Ultimately coined the "Lilly Pad Game", the rules were simple - Stay on the mat and try to knock the other person off by moving all around. All of us* played on the mat for hours... laughing, falling off, getting back on, not caring who stayed up longest, encouraging everyone to take a turn and not keeping score. No one was there to win, or compete, prove a point or turn it into a lesson; we simply were there to play and have fun - I felt cleaner for it... renewed. 

It was as if the build up that comes with every day life was wiped away, if only for a little while... I had a renewed energy, imagination and sense of possibility. And something else came with the Lilly Pad game, which I can only describe as a great sense of "self and well being". I suspect some would suggest that those over the age of fourteen should not find themselves engaging in such activities, but for me, I did not care... I did not care what people thought and enjoyed the moment that I innately knew was good for me - I was literally going to run and jump and play!

Play is seen as a competitor to work, but I will argue that it is the true balance for work and brings energy, confidence, imagination and well being. I also believe it is the simplest of play, the play that strikes the imagination of children, where the real power lies. So when you are at that next team building event and asked to colour, make something out of crafts or sing a song... GO FOR IT - you will be better for it.

Enjoy!

gpe

* Unfortunately Huey had a spill on his mountain bike and couldn't play the Lilly Pad game. Dewey, the Duke, Puddly, Sippy and Mr. Tardy were able to play and I hope they got as much out of it as I did. Their friendship is cherished and I am better for it.